Circular Reasoning

What could be more beautiful and evocative of the New Age than the mysterious formations that appear every summer in the wheat fields across south-west England? More complex and artful as each new day dawns, the crop circle* is a wonder of the modern world, defying all attempts by the Scientific Community to furnish a logical explanation other than the most obvious. Everyone else knows that aliens make them.

Amazingly, the very formation of crop circles changes the plants inside the circle in a magical and sub-molecular way, but it’s something that only happens if you really really believe, because intent changes stuff. It’s amazing anyway and grain taken from the centre of crop circles can even be ground into flour or planted where it will germinate and grow into another plant. Amazing but true.

Crop circles are distinctly lacking around Glastonbury unfortunately, due to a tragic Catch-22 situation. If a farmer was ever able to grow even one field of wheat or oil-seed rape nearby, the aliens could finally nip in and create a special circle for newcomer locals, desperate for their years of believing to be acknowledged. But because of the many extreme gluten allergies and pollen hyper-sensitivity experienced by the Glastonbury population, this has sadly, up to now, proven impossible.

As consolation, they hold a yearly crop-circle conference instead, where photographs of the phenomenon can be studied in safety, without sneezing.

Only good aliens make crop circles. Evil aliens lack the necessary opposable thumbs to adequately push rollers and unwind balls of string which at least makes the crop circle’s hidden message to all human beings a little more straight forward. The last thing fragile minded people need would be to receive an order to mutilate cattle and take over the world, amid the crop-coded pleas for world cuddling. *

*Thanks single-handedly to David Icke, a mystical footballer, THE FACTS about these bad and evil Royal Family-loving aliens are now in the public arena. His web site also carefully exposes the other LIES spread by the RULING ELITE, giving us the tools to break free of their control. Icke is merciless in his pursuit of THE TRUTH and provides an invaluable resource for anyone wishing to write in STRESSED CAPITALS, increase their ability to hear voices and prove at last that they really are being followed (by kind medics with a whole stack of anti-psychotic drugs)…



3 thoughts on “Going Round in Circles

    1. Thanks Chris. Though I also think that it’s extremely unlikely that aliens made any any of the crop circles when we make them so well ourselves. Occam’s razor and all that. I’m using satire to poke fun at the new agers who so strongly believe in aliens and crop circles. The whole blog is dedicated to teasing new agers’ blind beliefs actually. Sorry if it wasn’t clear!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s